Don't Send in the Clowns

No animals were harmed to celebrate this milestone...

Ahem. I have some good news.

Early yesterday, my 5 a.m. Stories recorded their 50,000^th page view since I launched the project last March.

To say I never saw this coming is an understatement.

This amazing milestone focuses attention on the need for a massive celebration for my upcoming March 19^th first anniversary. We’re talking major hoopla, here.

The plans for this are already pretty far along, according to my Event Committee.

Their idea was kind of a circus parade, because who doesn’t love a circus?

Except, of course there will be no elephants or lion tamers or other wild animals, because of our shared passion for animal welfare.

Oh, and no clowns, because, you know, it turns out they gave all of us nightmares that we’ve repressed since childhood. Clowns will be welcome only if they just wear normal street clothes, have no makeup, and shut the hell up.

I’m told there won’t be a ringmaster cracking a whip, either, because that triggers so much bad stuff I don’t even know where to begin.

I forgot to mention refreshments. There will be no hotdogs, tacos, ribs or chicken wings.  Most of my crackerjack staff on the 5 a.m. Stories are vegetarian, and we don’t want innocent animals to suffer just so we can celebrate.

I would love to mark the occasion by offering a reduced subscription rate for my loyal readers, except I’m already charging absolutely nothing for my stories, which is what I reckon they’re worth.

So, with the above exceptions, it will be just like a circus! I’ll check back with you as it gets closer – I’m sure we’ll be crossing other things off the list, so prepare to have your expectations lowered along the way!