The Lucrative Foreign Markets Beckon....

Good morning, Belgium!

( Picturesque Bruges, Belgium)

First, if you enjoyed this week’s “5 a.m. Story,” My Band of Ragtag Misfits, thank you. I did, too. It brought back sweet memories for me, and the positive response was overwhelming, especially the sentimental comments from those ragtag misfits themselves…

Now. As you know, I am intrigued by the amazing volume and granularity of data the Substack people provide me about my online followers. They can tell me what kind of burrito a reader in Santa Fe had for breakfast this morning. Hey, pal, margaritas at 9 a.m.? Seriously?

This week, they gave me some interesting new geographical info about my followers. I’m not the only one who closely follows such data. Podcaster Marty Young is proprietor of The Primrose Chronicles, tales from the Northside Indianapolis street where we both grew up. He devoted his whole episode last week to the same subject. He called it, So, How’s the Podcast Going?

Marty’s latest information told him he has listeners in 45 states! Wow, that’s like nearly all 48 states, or however many we have now, so kudos!

It also told him how many folks were listening to him in exotic overseas lands, such as Canada.

We all have followers in foreign countries, but here’s the thing. This week, two new countries were added to my own list: Belgium and the United Arab Emirates, and not to get petty, but Marty hasn’t mentioned having either one of those.

(Chocolate truffles, Belgian style)

Ah, Belgium. How much time have I spent there, walking the canal in picturesque Bruges, dining out on Brussels Sprouts and Belgian Waffles, and scarfing down chocolate truffles in shops on every block. It’s nice to know there are now Belgian neighbors who gather together late on Sunday evenings to await the drop of my latest “5 a.m. Story” while drinking their Stella Artois.

The lucrative foreign market beckons. It may be time for me to do another overseas tour. My last one was to Brazil, to meet my new readers there, but it did not go well. I studied Spanish for six weeks before I went, and somebody on my staff should have warned me they speak Portuguese over there.

Here’s the thing. In addition to all the other metrics, in last week’s podcast, Marty chose to introduce a brand-new one: continents. He proudly boasted that he has followers in SIX of the seven continents. Well, so do I. That’s a fact.

But then, here it comes, he advised us that he’s actively in touch with both U.S. and U.K. weather bases in Antarctica, hoping some poor frozen losers down there will pull off their gloves and tune into his little show with their numb fingers, giving him bragging rights for every single continent. Sad, really.

(An International Space Station crew member, waiting for my new story to drop)

That does remind me, though, that I need to follow up on my brainstorm to contact the International Space Station, inviting them to subscribe to “5 a.m. Stories.” Those folks have WAY too much spare time on their hands, and it isn’t like they have to steer their spaceship past icebergs or anything. What are they going to do up there, stream “Big Bang Theory” reruns?

Does anybody have their email address?