Sweet Charity

It you can't say something nice, then don't...

(A satisfied reader counts coins to get past my Substack paywall. AI generated photo.)

Bob’s 5 a.m. stories do more than entertain — which they do magnificently. He turns a truly fascinating life and career into a relatable, joyful, clever, irreverent, look at himself, the world and the human condition. He must have a really good editor.

— Janie Gabbett

As a writer Robert Basler has the brilliance of Shakespeare, the self-righteousness of Soren Kierkegaard and the occasional inscrutability of James Joyce when droolingly drunk.

— Gene Weingarten

Occasionally, 5 a.m. Stories mentions Barbara, a brilliant and funny journalist, and carries pictures of pets. For this reason, I am a faithful subscriber.

— Maggie Fox

A year ago this week, I moved my 5 a.m. Stories firmly behind a paywall.

I suppose a certain dimwit I won’t mention by name would call it “a big, beautiful wall,” even though Mexico didn’t pay for it.

In announcing the decision, I explained that the money I earned from charging a modest $5 a month would be given to charities, especially ones involving animal welfare and conservation.

To date, $3,800 has been distributed, to more than two dozen organizations, thanks to 5 a.m. Story subscribers. I'm pretty proud of that, and I hope it’s only the beginning.

Among the recipients are a couple of Indiana nonprofits close to my own heart: Grateful Rescue and Sanctuary, which rescued Molly, the sheepdog we adopted the very week I first launched my Substack, and The Kurt Vonnegut Museum which I consider to be an Indianapolis treasure.

To celebrate the modest success of my paywall experiment, and to set the stage for an even better second year, I randomly asked some loyal subscribers and frequent commenters to send a brief testimonial about the stories.

I told them their comments could be fond and sweet and sentimental, or they could be snotty.

Many of them chose to take the snotty route, which I might have expected. It seems pretty clear that some of these folks should be writing the 5 a.m. Stories, instead of me:

(AI generated photo)

Reading 5 a.m. Stories is like having coffee with the funniest, smartest guy at the end of the bar—someone with a deep affection for dogs and a reverence for storytelling. Who knew one man’s insomnia could be this entertaining?

— Carlyn Montes de Oca

Most of my life has been meaningless – no reason to drag myself out of bed. Then, I found these miraculous 5 a.m. Stories! What!! Now there is color in my life and a spring in my step. I even know about the Bacon Swamp! My only dream is to someday meet this master of words, Mr. R. Basler.

— Susan Applegate

Born in the crepuscular shadows, Bob’s 5 a.m. stories shine their murky light to entertain and amuse both those of us gingerly casting off slumber's mists at that unholy hour and those stumblingly ending their riotous revelries of the night before. Like vampires, exposing them to direct light is to be avoided.

— David Schlesinger

As bracing as an espresso, as funny and keenly observed as a PG Wodehouse, as lively as a lamb in spring, Bob Basler's 5 a.m. stories have been my preferred tonic since I first clicked Subscribe all those many moons ago. Long may they continue...

— Sarah Edmonds

(Our pets, Molly and Daisy, just to make Maggie Fox happy. Indeed, there is even a fox in the photo)

If you want to hear from a peripatetic journalist who has dined with dowagers and duchesses, who has seen - first-hand - Imelda Marcos’ shoe collection, boldly rescued his toddler son from drowning in the South China Sea (or something like that), is frequently mistaken for George Clooney (I’m told) and yet remains remarkably humble ( by his own account) you must read 5 a.m. Stories from Bob Basler on Substack.

— Karen Foss

Bob is a true man for all seasons. He turns out humor, bathos, inspiration and wisdom in equal measure - a quick-change artist with a gift for words and wit. Worth every cent. If I was making a cross-country road trip I'd plan a detour to his home town just to say hello.

— Patrick Burns

Bob’s 5 a.m. Stories offers bite-sized delight. In a world of doomscrolling and despair, 5 a.m. Stories provides equal parts humour and wit, with a unique worldview that only a globe-trotting journalist can claim.

— Leah Eichler

(More of our pets, Jake and Lucy)

But enough with the tributes. I fully enjoyed this exercise in literary blurbism, and if you would like to submit your own thoughts, just click on Leave a Comment, below. I love hearing from readers.

If you want to make the world a better place and be entertained at the same time, please click on the red Subscribe Now button, below. You’ll get a new story each week, plus full access to my priceless archive of more than 120 past stories, and you may leave snarky comments as often as you like!

If you are already a paying subscriber, and you don’t regret it, please recommend 5 a.m. Stories to your friends and relatives.

Don’t be afraid to annoy other folks with my stories. That’s what they’re here for!