Nothing To See Here...

Someday my prince will come

Welcome back to “There’s Nothing New Wednesday.” You will recall I post a brand-new 5 a.m. Story every Monday, while on Wednesdays I talk about the progress of this project, thanks to the amazingly detailed data I get from Substack. We’re all on this journey together.

Today’s subject is subscribers. While my other metrics – pageviews, retention, comments and likes – are chugging along just fine, I would love to see my subscriber numbers climb out of the low two-figures. Okay, it isn’t that bad, but so far, the lesson is that people are:

• reading my new stories

• scrolling back to read my old stories

• recommending my stories to their friends and dental professionals

• reluctant to commit to subscribing

I’m scratching my head over this last one, since subscribing costs exactly nothing. Anyway, here is my most recent U.S. subscriber map. I can’t help noticing a large gray swath made up of flyover states, red states, salmon states, survivalist states and both of those Dakotas, where not a single person subscribes. What’s wrong, West Virginia? Idaho? Wyoming? Can you hear me?

If you are a regular reader and you know someone in one of these states, you know what to do. Just think. The opportunity to be my very first subscriber in all of Montana!

One other interesting tidbit, from my global subscriber map. Substack tells me I have subscribers in eleven foreign countries, including one in Nigeria. Let me repeat that. One in Nigeria.

I’ll bet it’s that prince, the one who keeps trying to send me money!