Forlorn Friday 3

The Fourth Best Dad Joke of the Week?

(AI generated photo)

Welcome back to Forlorn Friday, which I established three weeks ago to lift your spirits, if only temporarily. My goal was to distract you from the unspeakably awful crap-fest going on around us.

Excuse me, instead of calling it an unspeakably awful crap-fest, maybe I should just use a popular Southern euphemism for the Civil War: “The recent unpleasantness.”

After all, we may not have even seen the full-on crap-fest, yet.

Just to be clear, Forlorn Friday is only intended to last for a month or so. After that, we will need to regroup and get four times as vocal and involved a we ever were before. Consider this a brief respite.

Meanwhile, a faithful 5 a.m. Stories reader, Xavier Collins, says, “I’m very busy adjusting to life in a brand new town, and I only have two and a half minutes of spare time. Can you fill it with something really funny?”

Yes, Xavier, it’s my pleasure. Check out this clip from the old “Barney Miller” television show. For my money, it’s the best two minutes, twenty-eight seconds ever. It never fails to crack me up. Btw, Xavier, I hope your new home turns out to be Paradise.

Sitcom clip of the week

I hope you enjoyed that. As usual, I’m now offering some great Dad Jokes, borrowed from Logan Lisle’s “Dock Tok.”

Best Dad Joke of the Week:

I was kissing my girlfriend on the sofa. She was like, “You want to take this upstairs?”

So I said, “Okay! You grab that end and I’ll take this one!”

Second Best Dad Joke of the Week:

I accidentally drank invisible ink. Now I’m in the hospital, waiting to be seen.

Third Best Dad Joke of the Week:

A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to him.

Fourth Best Dad Joke of the Week:

Yesterday I couldn’t figure out if someone was waving at me or at the person behind me. In other news, I lost my lifeguard job.

By the way, in my prototype for Forlorn Fridays, I originally included both the best and worst Dad Jokes of the week, but it turned out there was too much overlap between them.

So, that’s it for this week. Please remember, if you are a subscriber, to read my next fairly okay 5 a.m. Story, this coming Sunday.

And tune in next week for what may be the final Forlorn Friday. It will feature what I consider the funniest magazine cartoon of the 20th century.